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{this moment} Sisters

November 26, 2010

{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Post inspired by Soulemama‘s {this moment} series.

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Simple Thankfulness

November 25, 2010

I had thought that if I was able to find a few moments to write today, that it would be to write an entry full of “I am thankful for A, I am grateful for B…”  A laundry list of gratitude.

Last night — or more accurately, very early this morning — I woke up.  Wide awake, staring at the ceiling, tossing & turning, trying desperately to ignore the slight hunger pains and my mind’s bizarre instance that I must have apple slices this very instance, or else.

Eventually, I gave in, grabbed my glasses from my nightstand, and headed for the kitchen.  If it was to be a long, sleepless night, I might as well get my apple fix.

Deciding that I might as well take advantage of this unexpected quiet time to catch up with a few of my favorite blogs, I prepared my snack and settled down in front of the computer.  I read, I laughed, I teared up at times…and I snacked, of course.  And then I opened up a new post on my own blog, intending to write the obligatory Thanksgiving “I-am-thankful” post.

Before my fingers touched the keyboard, there was a noise from down the hall.  A sudden, brief yelp, some sleep-garbled words,  a soft sob…then silence.  I hovered, waiting, not breathing not moving not making a sound, hoping he’d drift back off to sleep on his own.

No such luck.  From Shane’s bedroom came a shaky, teary cry.  “Mommy? Mommy!  I neeeeeeeed my Mommy!”

Curled up beside him in his twin bed, our foreheads touching, with his arms holding me tight —  one draped over my neck, the other hand sneaking under to tangle in my hair — I shushed and murmured and soothed the tears and nighttime fears away.

Gradually, his breathing slowed and steadied, his grasp in my hair loosened, and the tension eased from his body as his arm grew heavy and limp across my neck.  He nuzzled close, legs drawn up so his shins rested against the curve of my stomach.  I nuzzled close, curling my body protectively around his, and breathed him in.

My baby thumped and squirmed in my womb, and my child sighed and slumbered in my arms.

I felt pure happiness.
Peace.
Contentment.
Love.

There, in the dark, in the silence, it struck me.  I don’t have a vast, exhaustive list of things I’m thankful for.  It’s much simpler, and so much bigger, than any list could cover.

There, in the dark, I was thankful for this quiet moment.
I’m thankful for today, for the here and now,
and I’m thankful for all the little moments that make up my todays.

NaBloPoMo? Whoops!

November 22, 2010

So I never posted yesterday. I thought about it, once, not long after curling up beside my husband in bed for the night. For a brief, insane moment, I contemplated crawling out of bed and turning the computer back on…but quickly realized just how ridiculous it would be if I followed through.

With that one missed day, my attempt at successfully completing NaBloPoMo this year just fizzled out. I don’t regret not posting yesterday, nor do I regret signing up. My entire reason for even trying to post once a day during the month of November wasn’t to prove anything, or to “win” some intangible bragging rights. I just wanted desperately to get back into the habit of blogging again.

I’m still going to try to post once a day for the rest of the month, just to continue reestablishing the blogging habit…but I’m not going to stress if a day (or two!) passes me by with nothing being posted.

Oh-So-Yummy Lactation Cookies

November 20, 2010

This afternoon my husband & I dropped Shane off with my in-law’s, and headed over to the hospital to visit a friend.  A tiny little slip of a boy, with a kiss-ably cute scrunched up nose, and a head of thick, dark hair.

He was born the day before yesterday, by c-section, and when I heard that I knew exactly what I was going to bring with us to the hospital: a batch of lactation cookies (scroll down for recipe).

After Shane’s birth, which was by emergency c-section, we struggled with breastfeeding.  Due to the beating my body took, recovering from both labor and and a major surgical procedure, it wound up taking over five days for my milk to finally come in.  In the interim, we were instructed to supplement with formula, and were released from the hospital with an Enfamil-packed diaper bag “for breastfeeding moms” as a parting gift.

We struggled to overcome this difficult start, battling nipple confusion and low milk supply for weeks after his birth.  Thankfully, we made it through the first rough weeks, and Shane went on to nurse until well after his second birthday.

I know my friend encountered similar difficulties after her first child’s birth — unexpected c-section, delayed milk production, and so on.  I also know that she fought hard to overcame all of those issues, and was able practice extended nursing with her daughter as well.  I was hoping these cookies would help her out in these early days, ease her mind, and nourish her sweet tooth as well!

This morning Shane and I set to work in the kitchen, and mixed up a batch of Lactation Cookies.  I first stumbled across this recipe on an online breastfeeding support forum when Shane was only a few months old, and they quickly became a delicious staple in my diet.

These cookies are full of galactogogues (ingredients known to increase milk production in lactating moms) such as oats, flaxseed and brewer’s yeast. When I was still working and pumping for Shane, I’d pack them in my lunch bag. Eating two about a half hour or so before pumping would dramatically increase my output…plus, they’re insanely delicious!

No worries…they’re safe to eat if you’re not currently breastfeeding, you won’t spontaneously start lactating just from eating these cookies if you’re not already nursing a little one!  My husband and son love these cookies, so we still make (and enjoy!) them regularly, even though Shane’s nursing days have passed.

: : : : : :

Housepoet’s Lactation Boosting Cookies

Ingredients:

* 1 cup butter
* 1 cup sugar
* 1 cup brown sugar
* 4 tablespoons water
* 2 tablespoons ground flaxseed
* 2 large eggs
* 1 teaspoon vanilla
* 2 cups flour (I typically use half regular and half whole wheat)
* 1 teaspoon baking soda
* 1 teaspoon salt
* 3 cups oats
* 1 cup or more chocolate chips
* 2 tablespoons of brewers yeast* (be generous)

Directions:

1. Preheat oven at 375 degrees F.

2. Mix together the flaxseed meal and water and set aside for 3-5 minutes. Cream together the margarine and sugar in the mixing bowl. Add eggs, one at a time. Mix well. Add flaxseed mixture and vanilla to the bowl. Beat until blended.

3. Sift together all dry ingredients, except for the oats and chips. Add dry ingredients to margarine mixture. Stir in oats, then chips, with a spoon.

4. Scoop onto a baking sheet lined with parchment paper.

Bake 8-12 minutes, depending on size of cookies.

*NOTE* IT MUST BE BREWERS YEAST, NO SUBSTITUTIONS.

(Original recipe can be found here)

: : : : :

I was joking with my doula that when I first go into labor, I’m going to distract myself by baking a batch of these cookies, so that they’re ready to take with us to the hospital once it’s time to go.  I’ll be munching on these yummy, beneficial goodies soon after my little one’s here, and hopefully nursing will get off to a much better start this time around!

I’ve Got Something to Say but Nothing Comes…

November 19, 2010

This week, I’ve been seriously lacking in motivation (as you can probably guess from the last several days of photo-reliant posts).  Not helpful when I’m in the midst of NaBloPoMo and have publicly challenged my self to post something, anything, at least once a day.

I have more elaborate, better thought out posts bouncing around in my head, but when I put my fingers to the keyboard…they’re gone like wisps of fog in a breeze.

I’ve got nothing today.  Nada.  Zilch.

If I had even the tiniest bit of motivation, I’d be writing about my thoughts and hopes and concerns and dreams about this upcoming birth.  I’d be writing about my desire for a VBAC and my lingering fears of a repeat c-section. I’d possibly even share Shane’s birth story, because his birth, the way he entered this world, has profoundly changed me in countless ways.

If I had even an ounce of energy, I’d be sharing some incredible recipes that I’ve discovered over the past several weeks.  Crock-pot Ratatouille, Jambalaya,  Oreo Truffles…

If I had even a spark of creativity, I’d be editing and sharing photos from last Saturday’s beach exploration.  I’d be describing the unseasonably warm day, how vibrant Shane’s red jacket was against the brilliant blues of the ocean and sky, the aggravated squawks of the seagulls as my son tried to herd them, one by one, back towards the water.

I have so much to write, so many words and phrases that need to be released, so many thoughts to be shared.

But not tonight.

Tonight…I’m off to bed early, with the hopes that my energy (as well as my lost motivation & creativity) will revive itself with a good night’s sleep!

Here's a teaser photo from last week's beach day...

{this moment} Nap Time

November 18, 2010

{this moment} – A Friday ritual. A single photo – no words – capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember.

Post inspired by Soulemama‘s {this moment} series.

Wordless Wednesday

November 17, 2010