Where else can you express your deepest thoughts and most intimate feelings, if not on your anonymous blog for virtual strangers to read?
I’ve spent the past week standing in front of the calendar. Counting, recounting, and counting the days, over and over again. Wondering, hoping, dreaming…
I thought I may have been pregnant. I woke up yesterday morning to find that I was wrong.
We weren’t planning to start trying for a second child until after Shane’s second birthday, which is next month. So while this would have been just a hair earlier than we had agreed, both my husband and I were cautiously optimistic.
Who am I kidding? He was cautiously optimistic, while I was getting ready to start searching the Dona website for local doulas.
So here I am — most definitely not pregnant — more disappointed than I expected to be, and feeling ridiculous for being this sad about something that never even existed in the first place. And yet…my arms are aching to hold another newborn.
A close friend told me that you just know when your family is complete…and by the same token, you know when there’s a member still missing. I look at my little family and know that there’s room for someone else in our hearts and our arms.
I can’t wait to discover who it will be.